Thoughts of a Lunatic: China Product, Ole’s Zero-Class and Other Talking Points

Been long you read from this table. My pen ran out of ink and I had to queue at the ‘filling station’ to refill it. What are my even saying? Am I making any sense? Anyway, that is why I am the Lunatic. On these edition, I will make a quick trip to China, though that won’t be a small journey. Also some matters around England, Nigeria and the likes.

China Product

As we know, Chinese products no dey last. Or better still, as we assume, Chinese products no dey last. However, Chinese products can be very shiny, aesthetically perfect and loud. You remember those Chinese phones that year? They can be very loud.

At a point, the Chinese Football League became a thing. Players were turning down the prestige and money of clubs like Real Madrid, Barcelona, Real Madrid, Barcelona and the likes in favor of playing in China. Compared to the Chinese league, their money was tithe. You can’t blame the players sha – the money plenty, e be like blood money. Hundreds of thousands of dollars, I wish I could be signed to play for just one week instead of writing this nonsense.

Apparently, COVID 19 happened amidst other things and it means the reigning champions has to fold up. Jiangsu Suning dey fold up, as in, dem close shop. Where does that happen? Well, only in China.

At a point, players were earning lots of money in China. Even the likes of Obafemi Martins, Odion Ighalo, Mikel Obi and others chop for there. But it seems, Chinese football money is drying up.

Obafemi Martins in the CSL

Ole’s Zero-Class

At a point, Manchester United were trashed 6-1 by Tottenham, since then they have taken the matter personal against the big sides. They won’t score, they won’t concede.

Manchester United against topsides is now a default goalless affair, they have done it against Manchester City, Liverpool, Arsenal and now Chelsea. Once upon a time, performances and results like this used to be termed as Mourinho masterclass. What do we call this now? Ole’s zero-class?


Ole knows something about playing goalless

Harvester’s League

It is common for lovers of English football to term the French League as the farmer’s league and other leagues as less competitive. Looking at how teams breeze to the Premier League title these days, the Premier League should be termed the Harvester’s League – where teams harvest points anyhow.

Liverpool breezed to the title last season

Last season, Liverpool were beating everybody like they were mistakenly put in an under-15 boys league. At a point this season, it seemed there was going to be a title race. Even Manchester United celebrated a rare feat of occupying the top of the table but that lasted just as long as the vanishing spray. Manchester City have taken over and they are beating everybody like drum. Manchester United comes next, you know what to expect – Ole Zero-class.

Football money

As mentioned earlier, some Nigerians made blood money in China. So, there was a recent conversation on social media where there was the debate – who is richer, the footballer or the entertainer? My reply to that is, when you look at it critically from the angle of the economic effects and values to the GDP in relation to the per head capital, I really don ‘t have anything to say. It is not my f*cking business. Some people will be balling spending money, I will be analyzing it, nonsense! Someone should come and pay me blood money for writing this nonsense, I can have an opinion then.

Anyway, it is not that I am angry now, I just have to stop writing here. Let me go and face my other hustles so I can make money. Don’t follow the Lunatic anywhere on social media, follow Goaldball, @goaldball on facebook and Instagram, @goaldbal on Twitter.

Thoughts Of A Lunatic: Kroos Pain, Manager Ronaldo and Other Talking Points

The Lunatic is joining the world of football to pay tribute to the legendary Diego Armando Maradona, who was taken home by the hand of God last week. While the debate of the GOAT goes on, the tributes that has followed the passage of Maradona says a lot about his greatness.

To other lunatic matters, it appears the lunatic has been picking on some people or he just hate their guts. Far from it, I am for nobody, I belong to nobody. I say it as I see it. I am particularly pissed with lot of the ticket busters last weekend. How do we do detty December if y’all keep bursting the tickets? Win or lose lots of you collect huge pay cheques and still complain about workload, workload kee you there. Go to Oyingbo market and see workload. Real Madrid, Juventus, PSG, Borussia Dortmund etc. decided to do an Amaka. That thing can pain. Talking about pain, we start on a Kroos pain.

Kroos Pain

When Antoine Griezmann and Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang were not scoring after Toni Kroos called them out for their ‘disrespectful’ goals celebration, we thought they have decided not to score so there won’t be a reason to jubilate.

Griezmann enjoyed scoring again

Apparently, Griezmann had waited for a goal so he could celebrate, more like mock Kroos and he did, after he scored against Osasuna at the weekend. For Aubameyang, we don’t know what is happening. Even shots on target are scarce, not to talk of goals. Play him on the left, play him in the center, Aubameyang keeps firing blanks like the Army of one Country. While their own blanks cause some havoc, Aubameyang’s own does not. One league goal since he signed a new contract, Arsenal fans will be hoping they have not be scammed.

Ighalo’s Excursion

The Odion Ighalo excursion to Old Trafford is obviously over. Except if he has some other duties he performs at Manchester United than the one we know. Maybe he has started helping set cones and arrange bibs in training. He is never seen in the team anymore. Without Cavani, he was behind in the pecking order. Now with Cavani, he is no longer in the pecking order.

Favour over labour don expire

At least, he achieved his dream of playing for the club of his dreams, he also scored some goals and he called the Nigerian government a shame to the world while wearing a Manchester United jersey. His excursion should end soon and he should find his way back to China, fulfilled. Or better still return to the Nigerian League that never has a fixed starting date. Favour over Labour, be like the thing don expire.

Manager Ronaldo

What will Juventus do without their manager Cristiano Ronaldo? Without him, they have only won once in the Serie A this season. Oh! I heard Andrea Pirlo is Juventus’s manager not Ronaldo, pardon me. But there will be no difference with Ronaldo as player-manager as it seems the tactics is, ‘pass it Ronaldo’.

Ronaldo could well be the coach at Juventus

Like Arsenal, Juventus went to appoint a Youth Corper coach, coach wey never do freedom. Maybe they appointed Pirlo based on his brilliance as a footballer, based on that, Ronaldo could as well be the manager.

Enough said. I called Real Madrid penalty donors last week and they did it again. Jose Mourinho and Frank Lampard are busy acting like they never knew each other. Anyways, they are both doing fine on the pitch so no one cares. Once again, Christmas is coming, don’t forget to send gifts to the Lunatic.

Follow Goaldball on Twitter @goaldbal, one L was stolen. And on every other platform on @goaldball.