Thoughts of a Lunatic: Old Staples Stadium, Jubril Messi and Other Football Talking Points

As the second wave of COVID-19 is forcing some governments to lock down their countries again, football fans are hoping football won’t be affected again. Instead, players will defeat COVID-19 to continue doing big things like Cristiano Ronaldo, Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Mikel Arteta and many others.

Or how else will the lunatic think if there is no football? European league football precisely. Even when there was no pandemic, there was little or nothing to say about the Nigerian league not to talk of now. A lot happened in the world of football last weekend, these are the thoughts of the lunatic, to be read with the mind of a Lunatic.

Old Staples Stadium

For clarity sake, there is Old Trafford Stadium and there is Staples Centre (venue of the Grammys). A combination of the two is Old Staples Stadium. Or how else do we call a home stadium that does not feel like home? A home stadium that opponents have turned to a dancefloor. It is better the Grammys is held there and every Beyonce, Rihanna and Cardi B can shake bums there.

Ole Gunnar Solskjaer said there’s little difference between home and away with fans not allowed in the stadiums yet, following the Red Devils defeat to Arsenal at the weekend. One can’t argue with Ole, four league matches, zero win. Arsenal won a league match there for the first time since 2006. Arsenal have won more league matches at Old Trafford than Manchester United this season, fact. Son Heung Min and Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang have danced there. Son was particularly surprising, a Korean danced ‘galala‘ on the Old Trafford pitch.

Aubameyang doing the dance

For Ole and Manchester United fans sake, the earlier the fans return, the better for Manchester United. Else they will be needing a New Trafford soon. And if they are still losing at Old Trafford when the fans return, it means not just that Ole is no more at the wheels, the wheels have fallen off.

Aston Villa, Everton running out of fuel already?

Aston Villa trashed Liverpool 7-2, they were flying and keeping clean sheets some weeks back. However, in their last two matches, they have taken back the seven they gave Liverpool. Three against Leeds, four against Southampton. It seems all the initial show na disguise.

In the same vein, the previously unbeaten Everton have lost their last two against Southampton and Newcastle. Though they have been without James Rodriguez and Richarlison. But if there’s anything we know about James, who has been pivotal to their impressive start, the only thing consistent about him is his good looks. Most of the other times, he is either injured or playing like a Colombian Daniel James. Ask Real Madrid and Bayern Munich fans. Though Everton have a stronger team and bigger coach than Aston Villa. The initial gra gra might be over and both teams have returned to factory settings.

Jubril Messi?

We will have to call a particular Nigerian that is an expert in identifying cloned humans to help. The Messi playing for Barcelona presently, is he Lionel Messi? Jubril Messi? Or Yusuf Messi?

Jubril Messi?

Where is he from? Is he the Argentine we know? Or this particular Messi is from Tahiti or Sao Tome and Principe?

Since Messi fell out with Barcelona at the summer and handed in a transfer request, he has not remained the same. How are we not sure the real Messi has left and the Barcelona board found a clone to replace the Argentine. Or how does one explain a Messi with no goal from open play in the league after six matches? In that time, Cristiano Ronaldo has recovered from COVID-19 to continue scoring. This Messi presently playing for Barcelona is definitely not the GOAT, maybe the pussy (pussycat I mean, take your dirty minds off the gutter).

For Ronald Koeman, some one should tell him that Barca sacked a coach that won a league and was top of the table the following season some times back. Luckily for him (Koeman), Frank De Boer is in charge of the Holland national team. He (Koeman) may have to return to the job he left for the Barca job soon. What about Frank De Boer? Ask Jose Mourinho.

That’s all I wrote and thought on this edition of Thoughts of a Lunatic. Better still, maybe all that is safe for public consumption. There is a level to oro soke weyrey. Keep it a date next time if you are in sync with the thinking of a lunatic, meaning you are a lunatic too.

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